Martha Stewart has nothing to worry about from me...

I went to my almost 8 year-old son’s Thanksgiving play tonight. I’ve been so distracted lately that I completely missed the month of October, and now Thanksgiving will be here next week. Holy crap. What happened to August?

I’m always amazed by my kids’ teachers, and so grateful. They put an incredible amount of time and effort into things that make me crazy. Sewing, painting, practices, dealing with a load of second graders and their distracted parents. Amazing.

I feel the same way about PTA moms. They are so ultra-efficient and into school functions. I quit trying to be one years ago; it’s not me. I am a good mom, I read to my kids every night, I cuddle and I play, but I am no PTA mom.

I saw one getting into her car the other day at Walmart. She had perfect, smoothly coiffed hair and was wearing a sensible skirt and shoes. The groceries in her cart were organized. She quickly and efficiently loaded them and returned her cart to the proper slot. I was pulling into a parking space with the Red Hot Chili Peppers blaring, wearing low-rise levis and slingbacks, a frizzed-out pony tail and wooden dangle earrings. A soda can fell out when I opened my door, and I was trying to remember what I was there for because I’d forgotten to make a list.

My teenaged son was with me and I felt a twang of guilt. I asked him if he wished he had a mom like that. He looked at me and said, “No way. That would be boring.”

God sure did give me the right kids…