Got milk?

As I sat on the couch this afternoon eating an enchilada Lean Cuisine sprinkled with crushed red pepper, drinking a Diet Coke, and watching Ellen, she said something that struck me to my core.

Ellen DeGeneres looked straight at me and said, "You can do anything you put your mind to."

I thought to myself, "You know what? She's right."

I shrugged off my blanket, stood up from that couch, tightened the string on my jammie pants, and marched right into the kitchen. It only took a minute to find the box of Russell Stover cream centered chocolates, and before you could say, "Self-medicate," I was back on the couch shoving 'em down.

That Ellen sure is onto something.