A walk on the vile side

Not very long ago, on a bright sunny day, my delightful husband and I were driving along in the car, enjoying each other's company. We have a mature, committed relationship, as well as a healthy respect for each other's wants and needs.

At least that's what I thought.

Shortly into our journey, I began to smell a noxious odor in the car. Subtle at first, the stench soon began to permeate the interior. I feared a dead animal had become lodged under the hood and the evidence of its decomposition was coming through the a/c vent.

Sniff. Crinkled nose. "I smell something. Do you smell something?"

He began to snicker.

"Oh my God. Did you fart?"

He burst into laughter and I knew. The honeymoon was over.

Frantically, I began jamming the down button on my window, but nothing happened. The odorous stench was growing like a nuclear mushroom cloud. And the windows were locked shut.

"OMG - I can't roll down the window!" Panic set in as I feared loss of consciousness. It was either laugh or pass out. I couldn't help it. I started laughing, too.

He was driving and the unlock button was on his side, but at this point he was laughing too hard to press it. He was laughing so hard, it was all he could do to keep the car on the road. Tears began to stream down his face and mine too. I couldn't tell if it was from the laughing or the noxious vapor enveloping the two of us.

The smell was so bad, it was even starting to get to my DH. He helplessly started slapping at the window controls until his own window rolled halfway down. His own window! My screech was enough to send him into another fit of laughing hysterics.

Thankfully, his love for me is so great, he finally got himself together enough to unlock my window. And my love for him is so great, he survived with his manhood intact.

We may not have a mature relationship, but we are definitely committed.

Or at least we should be, anyway.