Top 10 choices that are either easy or right, but never both

1. Paper or plastic.

2. Democrat or Republican.

3. Claiming your dog as a dependent on your tax return.

4. Claiming your teenaged son's friends as dependents on your tax return.

5. Pushing the grocery cart back to the return bin in the parking lot or balancing it precariously beside the vehicle next to yours.

6. Waiting in line behind 30 people for the restroom or sneaking around the building outside to get relief.

7. When approached by a law enforcement officer while sneaking around the building outside to get relief: sheepishly face the music or point behind him and shout "Look out!", then take off running at break-neck speed.

8. Plan and cook a nutritious meal for your family or order pizza for the third time in a week.

9. Follow a slow moving wide-load convoy for 20 miles or zip around it at 90 mph, swerving back over just in time to avoid an oncoming 18 wheeler.

10. When your young child misbehaves: set limits, communicate expectations, and follow through with appropriate disciplinary action or start singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town in an ominous tone of voice.

Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only. I probably have never done any of the above things, most likely.