Jaded is my color of choice

It's Sunday night. I had to work yesterday, so it doesn't really feel like I had a weekend.

I have become so self absorbed that I'm missing all kinds of signals from people around me.

There was a time when I was an observer. Life's pace was slow enough for me to blend into the background and watch. I could pick apart anyone and decide which road they should take, what decisions would be best for them and the issues they needed to deal with before they could progress. I would never tell them any of this of course, because who would listen? But I had it all figured out.

Now, every morning I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I spend the rest of the day trying to catch myself. I think I know the people around me, but I don't really. Something always happens to throw me a curve and I realize I was so wrong.

I'm tired. Of trying to figure things out. Of always being in a hurry. Of wishing I were somewhere else. Of not being who I should be. Of not living up to expectations. Of letting down people I love.

But most of all, I'm tired of trying to decide what to wear to work every day and having to spend so much time on my hair.

Gotcha.