Optimists need not apply

Things have been going so smoothly, I became complacent. I needed a divorce and poof - I'm getting a divorce. I needed a house and poof - a house dropped into my lap (figuratively speaking, of course.) I needed a job and poof - the one I was sure I was going to get fell through bigger than a load of bricks through a toilet paper canopy.

Hmmm.

Okay. Now the faint flutterings of panic are beginning to gather in my belly.

Yes, I know. Everything happens for a reason. When one door shuts, another one opens. It's always darkest just before the dawn. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. When life hands you lemons, return them for limes and make margaritas. Blah, blah. blah.

But that doesn't put Flaming Hot Cheetos on the table, now does it?