The Whole thing
Well, NaNoWriMo has been a complete bust for me. (Sorry, E.) I have 219 words. Pathetic.
I've been worrying a little about Christmas this year. On top of the usual money crunch, I've been thinking a lot about past Christmases and feeling guilty for breaking up what my kids could only have perceived as a happy family. I was a stay-at-home-mom and I had lots of time to decorate and bake and all that stuff. It's easy to sit on this side of the fence and glamorize what used to be.
But here's the thing. When I was a SAHM, I did everything for everybody. It wasn't fun, it was exhausting. That's what I thought I was supposed to do. I didn't include the kids in the kitchen or the chores or spend time with them or play. I did everything and ended up frazzled and unhappy. And frankly, I don't think getting a ton of presents at Christmas was very satisfying for them either.
So, with help from my honey, I have begun to see the error of my ways. Dalt has shown me it's okay to put the kids to work. I may not be able to get them a ton of presents, but I am determined to include them in my life, let them help me in the kitchen, play cards, watch a movie together, shop for each other.
I have been so used to shutting everyone out, I didn't even realize I was doing it. I don't know when that happened. Truthfully, it's probably because I make myself responsible for everybody else's happiness. If everybody else is happy, that's all that matters. Which doesn't leave much time or energy for anything else.
I'm trying to do things differently now. Having a partner who wants to know what I want, who really listens to me and understands when I have to do the hard work of saying out loud what I need, who helps put things into perspective, has helped me start to see what a TRULY happy family can be.
It's not one person doing everything for everybody. It's everybody making a contribution to the whole.
I've been worrying a little about Christmas this year. On top of the usual money crunch, I've been thinking a lot about past Christmases and feeling guilty for breaking up what my kids could only have perceived as a happy family. I was a stay-at-home-mom and I had lots of time to decorate and bake and all that stuff. It's easy to sit on this side of the fence and glamorize what used to be.
But here's the thing. When I was a SAHM, I did everything for everybody. It wasn't fun, it was exhausting. That's what I thought I was supposed to do. I didn't include the kids in the kitchen or the chores or spend time with them or play. I did everything and ended up frazzled and unhappy. And frankly, I don't think getting a ton of presents at Christmas was very satisfying for them either.
So, with help from my honey, I have begun to see the error of my ways. Dalt has shown me it's okay to put the kids to work. I may not be able to get them a ton of presents, but I am determined to include them in my life, let them help me in the kitchen, play cards, watch a movie together, shop for each other.
I have been so used to shutting everyone out, I didn't even realize I was doing it. I don't know when that happened. Truthfully, it's probably because I make myself responsible for everybody else's happiness. If everybody else is happy, that's all that matters. Which doesn't leave much time or energy for anything else.
I'm trying to do things differently now. Having a partner who wants to know what I want, who really listens to me and understands when I have to do the hard work of saying out loud what I need, who helps put things into perspective, has helped me start to see what a TRULY happy family can be.
It's not one person doing everything for everybody. It's everybody making a contribution to the whole.
posted by Cas at 12:23 PM
1 Comments:
Hey no apologies to me for not writing. I only accomplished about 5000 words with an initial goal of 20,000 and then knocking it down to 10,000. Life happens but I did get states 3, 4 and 5 started (now to get working on them and finishing them so the publisher is ahead of her schedule and I am too - lol) -
I tried the posting every day thing early on; as you can see I don't do it as it often as I should. Things evolve and change and sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes not. I'm not complaining. I'm heading to bigger and better things soon. See you in the postings - E :)
Post a Comment
<< Home