TMI
Thanksgiving has come and gone.
I was so busy being self absorbed that I didn't even acknowledge it was Zachary's first Thanksgiving at home in four years. Or play dominoes with my mom and sister. Or make sure my kids sat down and enjoyed their food.
My energy was taken up by trying to avoid feeling pain. By trying not to think about things. Not thinking about Nathan being gone. Not thinking about how things are changing and how much I hate change, even if change is the best thing that can happen. It's all very time consuming.
My heat is broken in the new house, so we're bundled up like eskimoes. The guy can't come to fix it until tomorrow morning. I discovered the old gas heater in the bathroom works, so that's pretty cool. That didn't sound right, did it?
Anyway, I've been breaking friends hearts right and left. I stood up J for a tv show. I consistently don't keep in touch with L and the girls. I suck. Maybe I'm isolating myself on purpose.
But enough about me. Really.
I was so busy being self absorbed that I didn't even acknowledge it was Zachary's first Thanksgiving at home in four years. Or play dominoes with my mom and sister. Or make sure my kids sat down and enjoyed their food.
My energy was taken up by trying to avoid feeling pain. By trying not to think about things. Not thinking about Nathan being gone. Not thinking about how things are changing and how much I hate change, even if change is the best thing that can happen. It's all very time consuming.
My heat is broken in the new house, so we're bundled up like eskimoes. The guy can't come to fix it until tomorrow morning. I discovered the old gas heater in the bathroom works, so that's pretty cool. That didn't sound right, did it?
Anyway, I've been breaking friends hearts right and left. I stood up J for a tv show. I consistently don't keep in touch with L and the girls. I suck. Maybe I'm isolating myself on purpose.
But enough about me. Really.
posted by Cas at 9:03 PM
2 Comments:
Holidays are the toughest considering the loss of a loved one and then having just come out of surgery and dealing with lots of emotional strain. You are doing just fine. Don't beat yourself up. You have to heal too and if doing that means not thinking of anything but yourself, then so be it. At least you are still there for your family.
Hopefully the heat got fixed and you will be able to enjoy the house and your family. E :)
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