Tuesday, December 11, 2007

For better or worse

I went to a wedding last weekend. Yeah, a big one. Six bridesmaids, six groomsmen, catered, ballroom reception. A great big, beautiful, expensive, extravaganza. I'm so glad it wasn't mine.

The bride cried, the groom looked so uncomfortable it made ME sweat, and I'm pretty sure that there were a lot more people at the reception than were at the wedding.

It was great. Especially the dual champagne and sangria fountains. But it confirms my resolve to never have a big, formal wedding - ever. That's not just my divorce talking. It's my age.

I feel SO old, but for once I appreciate it. I realize big weddings almost always end in big divorces. Traditional ceremonies are boring and unimaginative. And time is liquid.

Maybe that's why people have big, traditional weddings. They're trying to hold onto a piece of time in an event. You might as well try to hold onto a river.

Marriage involves a lot of work and pain and heartache, but you can't tell a bride and groom that. It's like trying to describe labor and delivery to a woman who is pregnant for the first time. There is no huffing and puffing or labor coaching in the world that can prepare you for the depth of pain and exhaustion experienced in childbirth. You just have to go through it. There aren't any shortcuts.

Ah, but the rewards.

When you come out of the hard years and have someone by your side who's gone through everything with you, seen you at your worst, knows you inside and out, and still chooses to be by your side - or when they hand you that baby you forgot you were even having because you just thought you were dying - it's like the best Christmas morning ever.

Big expensive ceremonies, lamaze classes, and all our endless planning can't make it any better.


Blogger Cat said...

Marriage is over-rated anyway. I wish I had the money back that I spent on my wedding. but I guess for the starter marriage you always spend the big bucks! Next time its Hawaii baby! hbehehee

1:39 PM  

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