Sunday, October 29, 2006

Never a dull moment

Ok. It's been a week. I'm really slacking. But honestly - I haven't had much to say. And I've been insanely busy.

The birthday season has officially begun. Every year Katie's b-day kicks it off on October 24th. Now we'll have birthdays nearly every month through April. Yippee-skippee.

Did I mention I hate Halloween? I do. It just gets in the way of Thanksgiving.

I went to a Halloween party last night and killed way too many brain cells. I don't know what happened, really. One minute I was sipping a beer, the next I was slamming jello shots, and before it was all over I was playing the drinking version of Trouble and having to chug a beer every time I lost. Not pretty. I ended up throwing up in my husband's truck, stripping in my driveway at 2 am, and stumbling naked into the house to shower.

I have a hangover for the record books. But my neighbors love me.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Jaded is my color of choice

It's Sunday night. I had to work yesterday, so it doesn't really feel like I had a weekend.

I have become so self absorbed that I'm missing all kinds of signals from people around me.

There was a time when I was an observer. Life's pace was slow enough for me to blend into the background and watch. I could pick apart anyone and decide which road they should take, what decisions would be best for them and the issues they needed to deal with before they could progress. I would never tell them any of this of course, because who would listen? But I had it all figured out.

Now, every morning I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I spend the rest of the day trying to catch myself. I think I know the people around me, but I don't really. Something always happens to throw me a curve and I realize I was so wrong.

I'm tired. Of trying to figure things out. Of always being in a hurry. Of wishing I were somewhere else. Of not being who I should be. Of not living up to expectations. Of letting down people I love.

But most of all, I'm tired of trying to decide what to wear to work every day and having to spend so much time on my hair.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

A sprinkle of seasoning

More rain. Cooler weather. Enter my favorite season of the year.

I love Autumn. The air is crisp and clean, not sticky and humid. You get to wear more clothes, so flab can be cleverly concealed.

Thanksgiving is the best holiday ever. It's a guaranteed 4-day weekend and the Christmas gift buying pressure isn't really on yet. Did I mention I love turkey? And pumpkin pie and dressing and mashed potatoes? (See above "cleverly concealed flab" reference.)

Uh-oh. Unfettered optimism is sneaking up on me; I better go turn on one of the news channels!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Rainy days and Mondays

Rain, rain, rain.

I like it, but it makes me sleepy. And I probably lost the Mother of the Year award when I let my kids stay home today because of the rotten weather. Who am I kidding? I lost that award a long time ago. Somewhere in between letting them eat Easter candy for breakfast and yelling at them when we're running late in the morning, usually because of me.

What's that old saying? Never have more children than you can afford therapy for?

I have had visitors for a few days now. I like entertaining, but my polite button gets sticky after day 2. Which isn't a good thing when one of those visitors is your mom.

Anyway, I'll ply her with booze and take a nap and all will be right with the world again. As soon as I get my kids out of the pool. What? It's not thundering or lightning.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Eyes wide open

Can someone explain to me why I can't sleep late on the one day I pick to play hookie?

I stayed up really late last night watching Battlestar Galactica (the season opener - very good), got all of my little ones off to school by 8 am. The two grown ones are still asleep. I go back to bed, snuggle down under my covers, and bam. Nothing. Just me, wide awake.

I'm sipping coffee now - watching pop-up ads dance across my computer screen. Evidently I've been invaded by a virus warning me that I've been invaded by a virus. If I don't buy their virus fighting software, the world will cease to exist as we know it. Or I'll just be irritated to death by false prompts and stealth boob shots.

On the issue of breasts: There is nothing quite so annoying to me as plugging along on my computer, minding my own business, when POW - a flash of boobs pops up on my screen. If I want to see naked breasts, I can look in a mirror - or ask a friend. I have several good friends with great boobs who'd probably show them to me if I ask nicely. (Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, guys.)

At any rate, I'm here drinking coffee, hanging out. Not sleeping late.

Friday, October 06, 2006

All My Children

Zachary is home on leave for 15 days.

I remember counting his age in days after he was born. "How old is he?" "Fifteen days old." I did that until he was three.

Nathan came home for the weekend too, so I have all my kids together again for a while. They're getting so tall, it's easy to imagine what it's going to be like when they're all grown up. I'll definitely be the shorty of the family.

I'm very tired after a long day, so that's it for now.

Secret message for MM: It's really not as bad as I make it sound. I had a little whine with my lunch and you were the unfortunate recipient. Thanks for listening today.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

At least it's something

The quote on my previous post was attributed to Nelson Mandela, but it has come to my attention that it may be by someone else. Whoever said it, thank you. It means a lot to me.

A common theme keeps popping up in my day-to-day existence lately. It's called, "Figure out what's most important to you and do something about it."

Really. I can't seem to shake it.

Every time I turn around, there it is. Quotable quotes, interviews in magazines, job offers, friendly conversations. You'd think I'd get the hint.

The problem is, I would have to stop being in perpetual motion to actually think about what's most important to me. I mean, besides the obvious things like my kids and my faith.

I feel like I'm on an express train, zipping past things I might need or want but going too fast to get a good look.