Weird is good

Well, this is the phase of moving I hate - dismantling. It is always so discouraging to take apart your home, even if it's just to relocate a few miles away. Inevitably the home you're dismantling becomes sad and empty looking, even as the new one starts to fill up and develop character.

I dread this stage.

The kids are really looking forward to the new house. The yard is big and interesting. It's an older home, so the trees and foliage are well established and there's lots of shade. Katie will finally have her own room and so will I. How weird is that? Weird, but good. The inside is very open and sunny with lots of windows; we're going to be very cozy there.

Zach and the kids and I went to the track together the other day. The days are getting shorter and it wasn't as hot as it has been. I walked the first lap, but when Zach passed me at a jog I joined him. It was pretty great. He kept an easy pace and I didn't really have a hard time keeping up. I walked the next two, but when he passed me on the third, I joined him again. I matched him stride for stride and it felt wonderful to run around that track with my strong, handsome son. I walked the next two again, and then joined him for an unprecedented third lap. I felt tall and proud and invincible.

I'm so glad I didn't throw up.

Walmart is back in the picture

Today is Monday, and to give you an idea of how fast MY world is spinning, I'll fill you in on the latest:

1. We are filing for divorce today, it should be final before Christmas.

2. We have agreed on everything we're going to split and we're both relatively okay with it all.

3. I found a 3-bedroom house to move into by October 15th.

4. The kids will stay in the same schools they're in now and they all seem fine with everything - especially Savannah, who is ecstatic about the whole adventure.

5. I have no idea how I'm going to make money.

So, now you're caught up. Stay tuned, you never know what's going to happen next around here.

Surrealville

Today is Friday. It is a day like any other day, but my life is about to change drastically - once again - as are the lives of my kids.

I am getting divorced. The split is amicable, but we will have to move to a smaller house and I'm going to have to get a real job, unless I can get something published between now and then.

What is up with this year???

I think I can, I think I can

My A/C got fixed yesterday - evidently it was the flux capacitor.

Ok, it was just the regular old capacitor, but I think it's more fun to imagine hopping on my A/C unit and traveling around time for a while.

I'm cool as a cucumber now and ready to get back to work. I mailed my submission to Woman's World yesterday - we'll see what happens there. But even if nothing does, it got my juices going.

I'm ready to stay drunk on writing so reality does not destroy me.

I'm hot, and not in a good way

One of our two 8-ton A/C units is out, which has turned my house into a curious mix of cool and hot climates. It is maddening, and of course this crap only happens on a Friday afternoon so no one can come out 'til Monday to fix it. Yippee skippee.

I've been sipping Long Island Ice Tea, watching football, and planning which of the new Fall tv shows I want to catch.

And some people say I have no direction in life. Slackers.

When the end justifies the means

In a somewhat controversial move, I have decided to pick my children up after school rather than making them ride the bus home.

There were several factors that contributed to this decision, convenience and my sanity not being among them.

The bus system here sucks. The routes are ridiculous and time consuming and the buses are overcrowded. Savannah had a major meltdown every day over it, and Katie came up with fourteen thousand excuses for staying after school so I'd have to pick her up anyway.

Some will say I've sold out. I say, choose your battles. It was obviously an issue important enough to my kids that they resorted to subterfuge and hysteria as their only means to solve the problem. If something is that important to them and I can do something about it, I need to pay attention.

When given the opportunity to really listen to your kids and see things from their point of view, take it. I wish my parents had.

Plus it gives me ammunition all year. "You don't want to clean your room? Well, you can always go back to riding the bus home."

Progress is measured in inches

Not much new. I feel a lot better, but I think it's more the company I've been keeping than anything else.

I got to watch, and hear, a rain shower today as it moved toward me across a freshly mowed field. The wind cooled as it came nearer and the air smelled clean and fresh. It was an amazing experience.

And today marks three months to the day since Nathan died. My heart still cries, but my eyes are dry. I discover new things every day I miss about him. I wonder what it's like for him now.

Last night I had a flying dream. It took place at night with the stars and moon lighting up the landscape and the sky. I woke up this morning refreshed. It was good.

Like warm, chocolate covered donuts on a calories-don't-count day.

Rainy days and Wednesdays

I have not been the most pleasant person to be around these days. Pensive and moody, I should probably lock myself in a room 'til this stage passes. And my uber-headache from last year is trying to come back.

We're continuing our workouts, almost daily. I actually ran three laps around the track and walked seven, so that's good. I have been skipping the bleachers (sp?) lately, but we're up to holding the core exercises for a minute each. I'm still not losing weight, although my butt and legs are firming up nicely.

The kids are back in school. They hate riding the bus home, but it has come in handy more than once when I couldn't make it back in time to pick them up. Right now they're in bed, fighting a useless fight against getting up to face the day.

DeDe is starting to lose her hair. She had her second chemo treatment yesterday. Another of my good friends found out her husband has aggressive, stage four lymphoma. They are going to fight it. She and her husband are a true love match and have been for over twenty years.

And I'm grumpy.

What's in a name?

Will someone please tell me how Saturday got here so fast???

I've been thinking - I know, a dangerous pursuit for me - and I've decided it's time to explain my name. It might clear up some people thinking I don't know how to spell 'Cas'.

My mom was very ambitious in naming her daughters, starting with my oldest sister, Antoinette Denise. My paternal grandfather nicknamed her 'Andi' and it stuck.

For her next effort, Mom really liked the name Charlotte, but she was afraid my grand-dad would call her 'Charlie,' so she went with Teresa Gale (Hurricane Carla hit that year, so she named her 'Gale' after 'gale' force winds.) Grand-dad nicknamed her 'Terri' and it stuck.

Then I came along. Mom was in her kitchen with my Uncle John, going through name books, when they happened upon the name 'Cassandra,' and all its variations. My Uncle John said, "Cassie! That's it!" So they decided to name me the nickname right out of the gate.

Now, I have been called a variety of things (some don't bear repeating on a family-friendly blog) including the most popular, Cathy, then there's Casey, Carrie, etc. I'm not sure why the name Cassie is so hard for people to get, but there it is.

My close friends call me Cas. Yes, I spell it C - A - S.

Here's why. My whole name is only six letters long. If you're going to abbreviate it, why even bother if you're only going to knock two letters off? At least chop it in half. The 'A' is still going to be short whether there's an extra 'S' behind it or not.

And besides, as one of my best friends in the world once pointed out, 'Cass' is just 'ass' with a 'C' in front of it.